Understanding your Self’s

Exploring Layers of Identity at Work and Beyond

In leadership and personal development, we often hear about the importance of self-awareness, understanding who you are and how you show up in the world. But there is more to it than simply knowing your personality or strengths.

From my experience, really understanding yourself means also looking at the different roles, voices and sides of you that influence your thoughts, emotions, and decisions. That is why I’ve written this short article, to promote this broader way of thinking about identity, one that uses two lenses; seeing yourself as one whole person and recognising the many parts that live within you.

This approach helps make sense of the sometimes conflicting thoughts and behaviours we all experience. It allows us to explore the complexity of how the mind works, and how we function across different areas of life, whether at home, at work, or socially.

Understanding Yourself: The Singular Self

To understand yourself in the traditional sense means knowing your:

• Thoughts and feelings
• Values and goals
• Strengths and weaknesses

It’s based on the idea that there’s a stable singular “me” at the centre, someone who stays the same even as life changes around you.

Here’s how this kind of self-awareness often looks:

• Self-reflection – You pause and think about how you behave and react over time.
• Core values – You know what matters most to you and how it guides your choices.
• Life story – You see your life as a journey, with a clear thread connecting different moments.
• Stability – You feel like “you” whether you’re at work, with friends, or alone.

In this view, any differences in how you behave are seen as normal responses to changing situations, not signs that you’re made up of different self’s.

Understanding Your Self’s: Embracing Multiplicity

The broader or wider view is that we all have many “self’s” inside us. This doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong. It simply recognises that we take on different roles in life and each one may bring out a different version of us.

Examples of these inner self’s include:

• Subpersonalities – You might act like a confident leader at work, a caring parent at home, or a playful friend socially.
• Inner voices – These roles may “talk” to each other inside your head. Sometimes they agree; sometimes they argue.
• Context shifts – Different places or feelings can bring out different sides of you.
• Distinct identities – If you’ve faced emotional challenges, some inner self’s may become clearer and stronger, each with their own needs and fears.

This idea lines up with psychological theories like Internal Family Systems theory (IFS), which say that we all have parts and each part plays a role in helping us function, stay safe, or express ourselves.

Unity and Multiplicity: How They Work Together

Understanding yourself as one consistent person gives you a sense of direction and stability. However, recognising your different inner self’s helps you become more adaptable, compassionate and emotionally aware.

Here’s how both perspectives can support growth:

• Integration – You react to different parts of yourself and help them work together, so no one part takes over.
• Authenticity – You show up as the real you in different settings, without pretending or losing track of what matters.
• Personal development – Unity brings discipline and focus. Multiplicity brings flexibility and understanding.

You don’t need to choose between being “one person” or “many self’s.” You can be both. That’s the strength of this dual approach.

The Two Lenses of Self-Awareness

Key Takeaways

The difference between understanding yourself and understanding your self’s shows us the two sides of human identity; one that brings unity and clarity and another that reveals depth and complexity.

Both are important. Together, they help us lead with more awareness, of ourselves and of others. When we learn to hear all the voices within and bring them together with intention, we become more grounded, confident, and capable.