Confidence is a state of mind and it can be learnt and improved through guidance, training, and practice. Confidence stems from feelings of well-being, acceptance of your body and mind (your self-esteem) and belief in your own ability, skills and experience. It is an attribute that most people aspire to possess, and for good reason – it impacts every facet of our lives, from personal to professional interactions.
Understanding confidence
We can consider two key aspects of confidence: self-confidence in our own abilities and confidence in interpersonal behaviour. When I am working with clients, I regularly test for these as part of my mental toughness assessments.
Self-confidence
Self-confidence means having faith in your abilities. This confidence is partly shaped by our life experiences, upbringing and education. From a young age, we learn from others how to think about ourselves and how to behave. These lessons affect our beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities. For instance, a supportive and encouraging family environment can foster a strong sense of self-confidence, whereas one of constant criticism can erode it.
Our experiences and reactions to various situations also play a significant role. Overcoming challenges and achieving small successes can boost our self-confidence, while repeated failures without support can diminish it. Since our mind controls how we behave, our confidence levels can fluctuate based on our moods and emotions. A bad day can make us doubt our abilities, while a good day can make us feel unstoppable.
Interpersonal confidence
Interpersonal confidence is about how we interact with others, perform roles and tasks, and deal with various situations. This type of confidence can vary daily, regardless of our capability in our jobs. For example, you might feel incredibly competent and assertive during a team meeting one day and uncertain and hesitant the next.
Imposter syndrome
A significant issue linked to confidence is imposter syndrome, where individuals doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as a “fraud.” This can affect anyone, from top executives to new employees.
At its core, imposter syndrome boils down to a lack of self-belief. Working with a coach can enable you to understand your concerns, build your confidence and mitigate the effects of imposter syndrome by helping you understand the way you think and providing insight into your mindset.
How to build your confidence
Building confidence involves expanding your comfort zone and embracing new challenges.
Here are a seven suggested strategies to try, also known as ‘The 7S’s to success’:
- Self-awareness and reflection: Regularly reflect on your experiences and acknowledge your achievements. Understand your strengths and areas for improvement.
- Set achievable goals: Start with small, manageable goals that lead to larger objectives. Each small success builds confidence. (Goal orientation, part of commitment of mental toughness.)
- Seek feedback and learn: Constructive feedback helps you grow. Learn from it without being defensive and use it to improve. (Learning orientation, part of challenge of mental toughness.)
- Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. What matters is how you learn and grow from them. (Developing a growth mindset.)
- Develop new skills: Continuously seek opportunities to learn and develop new skills. This not only enhances your abilities but also boosts your self-confidence. (Risk orientation part of challenge of mental toughness.)
- Build a support network: Surround yourself with positive, supportive individuals who encourage and believe in you.
- Visualise success: Visualisation techniques can help you imagine and prepare for success, boosting your confidence when facing new challenges.
The role of mental toughness
Mental toughness is crucial for building and maintaining confidence. It involves resilience, perseverance and the ability to stay focused under pressure. By developing mental toughness, you can handle setbacks with less effort and view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats.
In the steps above I have referenced connections to the aspects of the mental toughness model.
Expanding your comfort zone
To grow in confidence, you need to expand your comfort zone. This doesn’t mean taking reckless risks, but rather pushing your boundaries gradually. Take on new responsibilities, volunteer for challenging projects and put yourself in situations that stretch your abilities. Each time you step outside your comfort zone, you build resilience and confidence.
Confidence is a state of mind that can be developed and strengthened. By understanding the aspects of self-confidence and interpersonal confidence, recognising the impact of imposter syndrome and implementing practical strategies for growth, you can significantly enhance your confidence.
Working with a coach can provide the guidance and support you need to build and maintain your confidence, leading to greater personal and professional success.
To hear leadership coach Ray Smith explain why it’s not always a lack of confidence that’s the issue people need to address, watch this brief video:
